I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
