we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
