Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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