I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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