i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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