I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
