We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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