They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
