I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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