1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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