i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
