i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
