I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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