Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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