my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
