I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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