okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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