I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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