i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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