i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
