So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
