Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
