I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
