bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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