Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
