he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
