why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
