I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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