I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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