ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
