She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
