I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
