I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
