Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
