she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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