I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
