this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
