There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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