I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I will die if light touches me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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