She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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