found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
