sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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