Having a random hookup so left but love u
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
