You're so nebulous sometimes
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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