Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
