dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
