Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you never un-have a 4some
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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