it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
