why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
