there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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